Being big, or however you want to call it. It’s something we don’t like to talk about. It’s something I don’t like to talk about. but perhaps it’s a way for myself to respect myself the way I am.
It’s The Inside That Matters?
We have to admit, being big is not healthy. I know this, you know this. I’m sure we all know this. I eat when I’m bored and when I’m emotional. I like sweet stuff, chocolate, candy, or delicious sandwiches that are everything but healthy. I know people who eat when they are stressed, or who don’t eat when they are stressed or nervous, or even sad.
Exercise is healthy, and being big will give you a bigger chance on heart-problems and much more.
I can’t dress the way I used to dress without wondering if my tummy shows, or if it makes my butt too big. I’d love to wear dresses, but I know it would look terrible on me with my big thighs, hips and legs. I want to wear clothes thin people wear, but I can’t. It’s a reason why I hate shopping, because I know I will end up depressed and with nothing. It’s difficult if you find out that your store doesn’t have your seize, or when the seize you always wear is smaller, and you still can’t fit it, even though you haven’t gained weight. Or because our chest is too big, we don’t fit in that shirt we want.
Have you noticed that people have euphemism for being overweight? Large. Plus-sized. Full-figured. Rubenesque. And no one—not even me, especially not me—wants to say the word ‘fat’. But ‘fat’ is only pejorative when we allow people to tell us that being fat somehow makes us less of a person.”
I am working on losing weight, but if you’re insecure about yourself already, and you lack that part of self-control it’s hard. You need a goal that is not impossible to reach and I need people around me who are willing to support me. I need to sport, I need to watch what I eat and it goes so damn slow before that one 1kg or 15kg is gone.
But because I’m a bigger girl, because I wear XL or L, it doesn’t make me less of a person. People judge you, and it feels like they are constantly watching what you’re eating. Or you’re laughed at, made fun of, or anything else. I am called ugly once, or people don’t like you because you have a few sizes extra. And that’s what I’m scared of, I’m scared people don’t like me because I am bigger than them.
I try to be friendly, and to help people who are in need of an extra hand. I help my co-workers whenever they need someone to help them, even if it’s in my free time. I try not to judge people. (I try!) Does this all still make me a bad person, or a sad or pathetic person because I’m big? I don’t count in because I wear an L? You’re above me, because I’m fat? You’re better than me, because I have a double chin? I don’t think so…
I’m a woman, I’m insecure, I try to look pretty sometimes too, I want to wear nice clothes. But when I look into the mirror sometimes, I’m disgusted of myself. And yes, I should grow up and get some self-control. But it’s harder than you think. So many people and kids are being bullied because of how they look like. We should stop being so cruel and be nice to each other once in a while. If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all.
But yes. I’m not trying to find an excuse to be fat, or saying that it’s okay to be big. We all know it’s unhealthy, but we all have our reasons. And I don’t want to know those reasons on why you’ve grown from an S to L. It’s unhealthy, and the percentage of woman who are bigger than an S or M are growing. But that shouldn’t make it okay. But big or thin, we’re more than a number on a scale. And if you’re happy with how you look, everyone will see it. Confidence is sexy. Confidence looks good on everyone, no matter how you look. (unless you’re too confident, that’s not good either)
We’re a human being, not a number on a scale. We count.